Making it to PENANG.

It is a good thing we ended up in Amy's apartement there in KL. Within an hour she manages to plan our trip (that at this point in time is  very mañana mañana) a month ahead, bringing us through Malaysia, across Java onto Bali and eventually ending up in Chiang Mai, northern Thailand. (All for a total amount of about 1'200 SEK. Kaching! Amy - you should start a travel agency.) So that is how we, on Tuesday morning, were found on the bus from Kuala Lumpur to Penang. Which turned out to be quite the ride... 

In a perfect world, this trip is supposed to take four hours. This being our first bus ride on the continent - we naively believe in this. Four (six) hours on a bus that feels like it will fall apart any minute. E throws up twice before we even reach the half way stop; after which my nausea catches on. Perhaps it's a week of too much spicy food, or my dodgy "take away"-coffee from the meal break (see photo below). Regardless - it is far from pleasant to, at every bump of the road (and believe me, there were quite a few!), feel like you're gonna do your pants. When the driver stops to refuel at a petrol station, somewhere along the five hour and a half-mark, me and Emily are literally racing to the petrol station bathrooms. Never have I been so happy to see a squatting toilet! At the 6th hour we finally make it into Georgetown and had thereby officially survived our first proper SEA bus ride.

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Somehow this is not what I imagined when he asked whether I wanted to "take away" my coffee. A doggy bag! Perhaps my one favourite part of the trip.

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Spending a rainy afternoon up Kek Lok Si - only the largest buddhist temple of SEA.

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 My future dream house *insert heart-eyed emoji*

Stills from the Old Protestant Cemetery in town.

A photo diary from pretty pretty George town can be found here. 

KUALA LUMPUR (or 'Falling asleep at the Cinema')

It is our first night in the Malaysian capital. We meet up with a slightly delayed Amy at the Sentral Station, go back to her place to basically just drop off our bags before we are out the door again. On the food hunt! We end up in some outdoorsy-food court. When the buffet hostess pulls a warning "spicy spicy" at the food I wish to have I just think yeah right, so said the Thai and that was fine. Well of course you were fine, you silly swede, you were at khaosan road at the time...

Let's just say that when the malay claim something is spicy - they are not messing around. Only minutes into the meal my eyes are filled with tears. Emily claims my face turned white at some point. I try to neutralize by eating the veggies, like the haricot verts, surely they cannot be too spicy? Turns out those green peas are not peas but green chillies. Guess you have to learn the hard way.

Us in front of the Petronas (well, a Petrona to be precise) the first evening feat. my breakfast plate.  Coffee tea-bags (how clever??) and indulging on dates and peanut butter after a week (!!!) of absence.

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When Scandinavia conquers your living room. 

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View from Amy's building in two different directions.

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On our last day we go to watch Elysium at the cinema. There I was, thinking me and jet lag had broken up long ago. That I was fine. Apparently not - just seconds before the credits come on screen I abruptly wake up to the sound of the whole salon laughing. "What? What happened?"

Turns out Matt Damon died to save the world. Oh sorry, I was supposed to say spoiler alert. My bad.

Penang Hill (or 'How I Got A Monkeyphobia')

Around Europe, there are plenty of signs urging us not to feed the birds. Little did I know, while walking past the Please Do Not Feed The Monkeys-signs at the beginning of our hike up Penang Hill that this was also... a thing.

But boy, was I about to find out.

1 An attempt to capture the steepness of the roads in photo | 2 H’s unexpected tan lines by the end of the day — it was cloudy for heavens sake!

1 An attempt to capture the steepness of the roads in photo | 2 H’s unexpected tan lines by the end of the day — it was cloudy for heavens sake!

Most people take the train when they go to the top of Penang Hill. But not your Scandinavian Trio. Those roads were indeed the steepest I have ever wandered and it felt somewhat like we walked those five kilometres straight up to the heavens. The sweat quickly started pouring down every inch of our bodies, but we kept on at a good pace. This was, after all, our very first trek through the rain forest. Figuring we would need something salty and energizing, I had brought snacks in the shape of salted peanuts.

So there I was, chewing on said peanuts, whilst we approached a group of monkeys hanging out on the road. Fascinating, really. They were just sat there, picking fleas off one another (as you do) and were c-o-m-p-l-e-t-e-l-y unbothered by our existence. Emily and Heidi casually snapped some photos, whereas I tried my best to keep a respectful distance; walking as far away from these creatures as the road would allow. We pass the monkeys and cross the next corner.

And there, half way between my thinking 'PHEW!' and 'we made it!', he is. Out of nowhere, he comes jumping from the side of the road. Before I know it,  this metre-tall chimpanzee is bouncing just centimetres away from my face.

He screams.

I scream.

Despite my 13 years in school I have never heard a single thing mentioned about how to get a jumping monkey away from you — what the heck do I do?!

I hear Emily's voice in periphery say something about him wanting the peanuts. I realize they are still clenched tightly in my hands. With the Please Do Not Feed The Monkeys-sign flashing by somewhere at the very back of my head, I throw the bag of salted peanuts at him and he immediately disappears after it.

The crisis is over.

At this point there is still another four kilometres to go until we reach the top of the hill and although I am now out of monkey magnetic peanuts, I am instead paranoid at every single sound coming from the jungle. (And as you can imagine, there are a few!) While I do feel bad about littering in nature, part of me also hopes this chimp dude will get a genuine belly ache from chewing straight into the plastic bag.

An abandoned hotel on the top of the hill.

An abandoned hotel on the top of the hill.

Once we reach the top, it is unfortunately too much of a cloudy day to be able to really see any spectacular views. On the way up, we pass a group of yankees on their way down, throwing us some encouraging words of "it gets so much easier on the way down!"

What a bunch of liars!

The way down is worse, if anything! With a mind thinking that the worst part is over and with legs like jello, you now have to use the front side of your thighs to break the speed all the way down, or else you will have to run.

Then again, if that saves you from being robbed by monkeys, is perhaps not such a terrible thing.